Last Ode to Pope Francis at the End of Novemdiales: My First Pope
Pope Francis was in many ways my first pope.
I was born in 1994, but I was not raised Catholic. I have very vague, fleeting memories of watching the news when St. John Paul II died when I was 10 years old in 2005. So, though I was alive during his pontificate, I really do not have any direct personal memories of John Paul II, and my knowledge and intellectual appreciation of him began after he was already gone.
I have no memories whatsoever of the 2005 conclave and Benedict’s election. I did not start officially looking into Catholicism in my conversion journey until around 2010 or 2011, and I entered RCIA (now OCIA) in the fall of 2012. This was during Benedict XVI’s reign. However, early into my journey to the Catholic Church, between this time and February 2013, I knew we had Benedict and probably had some basic appreciation for him as our leader, but I think at this time I might have been captivated more by the content of the faith and the Church I was discovering and getting my feet wet in. As opposed to John Paul, I probably saw Benedict on TV/Internet with at least some waking comprehension that this was Benedict the pope of the Church. However, as I look back now, even this waking memory seems to be a little more on the fuzzy side. Nevertheless, I do definitely remember the period when he abdicated the papacy and our wait for the conclave to start.
In terms of my personal waking comprehension and memories of papacies, things start to get real sharp starting in March 2013 and on. This was the spring semester of my freshman year of college. I was still in RCIA, and would not come into the Church officially until the summer of that year, so the next pope would kinda be my guy. I clearly remember watching the 2013 conclave in my room back at home on spring break from college. It was the middle of the day March 13 in Nashville, TN while it was evening in Vatican City. I remember the moment of pandemonium when we found out we had a pope. I remember when Pope Francis stepped out in white looking almost uneasy when the close up of his face came. I remember when he first asked us to pray for him. At this, there was a moment of silence, and I sat in front my TV and prayed. This is how I met Jorge Mario Bergoglio. I have only ever known him as Pope Francis.
Later that year on June 26, 2013 I became a Catholic. Pope Francis was the first pope of my official Catholic life.
Upon my confirmation into full communion with the Church I took the name Joseph for my patron saint, but I took a second name – Francis, in honor of Pope Francis, because he became pope the same year I became Catholic.
Along the years Pope Francis would become my first pope in a number of ways and my pope in key moments.
The first pope I received the Eucharist under.
The first papacy I vividly remember as a Catholic.
The first papal personality I got to witness.
The first pope I joyed over, admired over, worried over, frustrated over, challenged over, proud over, prayed over.
The pope I first discerned the priesthood and entered seminary under.
The first pope I saw in person and “met” (shared the same physical space with) when I visited Vatican City for the first time and stood in St. Peter’s Square during a Wednesday audience on June 8, 2022.
The pope I spent my entire seminary training under.
The pope I graduated seminary under.
The first pope I was ordained under (diaconate); the next pope will have my priesthood.
The first pope I served as a cleric in the Catholic Church under.
The first papacy to really shape me as a Catholic as it was going on live.
The first pope really I saw die in office.
The first pope I vividly saw buried on TV (in this day and age, my phone) right after he died in office.
The first pope whose papacy I took in from start to finish. From March 13, 2013 to April 21, 2025.
This is the first “full” sedevacante period I have experienced as a Catholic. “Full” in the sense that there is absolutely no pope around – not even a retired one hanging out waiting for the next one like the rest of us like in 2013.
This is the really the first sedevacante where I know mostly what’s going on first hand.
As a Catholic, sedevacante is a little weird.
Like something is missing as a Church – because it is.
And now the Church has officially ended her novemdiales period (nine days of mourning) for Pope Francis.
I will always remember and take from him his call to “smell like the sheep.”
I will always remember his Year of Mercy.
I will remember and keep in mind his simplicity.
I will always remember how early on in his pontificate I would see a lot of instances of “I’m not (a Catholic/Catholic anymore/a believer), but I like this pope.”
I will remember tutti! – “everyone!/all!” – from his homily on the Solemnity of Peter and Paul 2022, which I personally heard in St. Peter’s Basilica, when I didn’t understand Italian (and still don’t), but in the middle of his homily there was a point where all I heard was him repeating the word tutti over and over and at least I knew then that that was the word for “all” – and I got the message.
Tutti along with misericordia sums up his papacy for me.
The pope of all. The pope of mercy.
Here’s to you, Papa Frank.
May God grant you sweet repose.
Eternal rest grant unto Pope Francis, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Videos of Pope Francis I took in St. Peter’s Square June 8, 2022: